Here are 4 Signs that you over parent your grown children and are treating them like kids rather than adults.
Grown children are supposed to be able to care for themselves and be independent. This means that we shouldn’t need to micromanage their lives. However, many parents find themselves doing just that when it comes to their grown children. Here are 4 signs that you over parent your grown children:
- Not letting your grown kids make their own decisions
- Proactively interfering in their lives
- Expressing disappointment with their life choices
- Expecting them to behave like a child
If this sounds like you too, it is time to start taking steps to correct the problem.
It is one thing to give advice, but it is quite another to meddle. Many parents want their children to be happy and healthy and don’t want them making poor choices. There comes a point when you need to let go of your child and allow him/her to make decisions for themselves. Here are the signs that you over parent and are treating your grown children like kids rather than adults.
Focus on the Family states,” The key to good parenting is balancing love and limits, and this applies to young adult children as well as to toddlers and elementary school kids.”
Ask yourself if you are constantly interfering in their lives.
Do I make decisions for them that they could easily make? Do I tell my daughter that she needs to get a new job, or break up with her boyfriend? She can figure that out for herself. As our kids grow up and take on more responsibility for her own life, it can be natural to want to protect her from failure.
Our grown children are adults and will continue to make decisions that we may not agree with.
We may think that they are not living up to our expectations. However, it is important as parents, to keep in mind that trying to control everything is a recipe for disaster. Remind yourself that you are giving them life lessons through your actions, instead of criticizing their behavior.
If you are still trying to treat your grown children like kids, there is a good chance that you are over parenting them.
It can be difficult for parents to let go of a protective role in their children’s lives. However, if you find yourself wanting to get involved in their relationships and even discipline issues that may not affect you at all anymore, it might be time to rethink your approach. If they consistently behave like an adult, trust that they know what they are doing and respect their independence.
Here we discussed 4 signs that you over parent your grown children.
Great conversation is a wonderful place to start the process of “cutting the cord”, so to say.
I have designed a set of Conversation Starters that progress through memories, favorites, and experiences. These worksheets are my free gift to you, in hopes that you find a happy place, still parenting, yet not overparenting your grown children.
You can download them HERE
Recent Comments