Overcoming the lost sense of community

Parents often develop a sense of community through their children. What happens to the sense of community once the children are gone? It may be tough to overcome the lost sense of community. 

Community is more than a place. It is a feeling.

 

Wikipedia describes Sense of Community as the experience of community, rather than it’s structure”.

It is more about the attitudes, and feelings about community and their relationship to it.

 

Within the community, parents may have come to rely on and enjoy other parent’s company.

 

Friendships have formed between parents. Carpooling to events and dropping children to socialize show a huge sense of trust. School programs, and sports events are a few gatherings that parents may see each other often.  

 

Parents often develop

a sense of community

through their children.

And now that they are no longer students, a lost sense of community may occur. These parents were “friends” after all, and now there is no constant contact, or contact with them at all. You might see them at the grocery store or local coffee shop, but It would take an extra effort to keep in close touch.

 

When examining your lost sense of community, evaluating your friendships may be helpful. 

 

How much do you know about Joe or Mary?   Have you been to their home, have they been to yours?  Do you know what their religious preference is, or do they have one?  Are they active or have a strong political opinion one way or the other?  Some parents may not even know how to spell their “friends” last name.  Evaluating your friendship may be helpful to point out how close you actually are.  Don’t get me wrong, some parents form a bond that goes well into their golden years. But this is actually a bonus and not the norm.

 

A sense of community is important and gives a neighborhood a way to connect and feel like a part of a greater thing.

 

When one feels like they have lost that connection, they can feel lonely.  Making new friends could help. But, where can we make new friends that live in our communities?  As children and young adults, making friends was somewhat easy. Now ask yourself, when was the last time you connected  with someone new?

Adult friendships are crucial, not only to our mental health, but to our physical health as well.

 

Having friends leads to less stress, less chance of heart disease, and a longer life. This explains how loss of community can be hard on our physical health as well as our mental health. And your sense of community has changed after your children have moved on.  Although, meeting people doesn’t have to be hard. Opportunities are everywhere. So be bold and try something new. You’ll be glad you did!

A class at the local community college can allow you to indulge in a new interest.

And at the same time, meet someone new. Have you always wanted to cook gourmet dinners? And have you been thinking about taking flying lessons? Whatever interests you, this is a surefire way to meet new people. If you are a gardener or a quilter, a relationship with the community college could even lead to a teaching job. Hobby instructors are in demand.

 

Your local library is a great place to exercise a love of reading while getting to know someone new. Book clubs stimulate you and introduce you to people in the community who share a love for the written word. You could also run into someone you already know. What a pleasant surprise.

 

If you have a dog, why not explore more than your own backyard? By taking your furbaby to your local dog park, you will meet other dog lovers. While at the same time, giving your pet a chance for a little doggy socialization. After all, this is your last child living at home and this is a win, win. 

 

Many of your neighbors still go to the local high school even though their student has graduated.

A high school will never stop having activities on the calendar.  Was your child’s holiday drama performance a highlight in your year? That performance will go on, year after year with or without your child. It has been a holiday tradition for us for many years to go to hear the Christmas concerts.

 

My youngest daughter was a cheerleader, dancer and in drama while in high school. They asked her back for many years to choreograph for the Dance Blast performance. As a cheerleader, she made many friends ranging from freshman to seniors.  When she graduated, she still had three years of students to help, coach and cheer on.    

Alumni are always welcome to come and watch a home game of baseball or basketball.

This can be a fun family get together for you and your graduate. Are you an alumni of that very same high school?  My ex-husband graduated from the same high school that our teens graduated from. We were at that school for so many years that we did not go through community withdrawal.

 

The school facility itself is a great source of finding new or keeping old friends.

The track has been great for a safe place to walk with friends and possibly now, with grandchildren.  It is perfectly designed for pushing a jogging stroller.  Make arrangements with your friends to meet you there 1 or 2 times a week for a stroll, or a jog around the track.

 

You can start a new set of community friends.

Volunteer to read to the pre-school children in your community. Or you may still see your friends at the library, church and grocery store.  As I grew up, we went to the library weekly and had a lot of fun getting involved in the reading program. 

When my children were young there were pajama parties.  And the children would get into their jammies and sleepers and go for a bedtime story.  If you have the skill to read aloud, you can propose this to your local library. And you never know, you may become famous in your community.

 

In conclusion, these are a few ways to overcome lost sense of community. And they may turnout to restore that sense of community instead.  

Making new friends is a matter of putting yourself where they are.  Please enjoy this printable set of To Do lists and varying Planners to nudge you in the right direction.